Tattoo'd

When I was 25 years old, I married Todd. It was a beautiful July wedding that took place down at the Grain Exchange in Milwaukee, a great historical building which was a nice reflection of some of our farming families. The building was ornate with enormous two-story ceilings with wood, marble, and glass throughout. I walked down the staircase to meet my parents who lead me toward my husband. I recall the room was so large our voices did not carry far so, though surrounded by loved ones, I wonder if any others heard our words. We had a guitarist named Karen Howell who strummed intimate music. My Uncle Paul and friend Michelle recited some poetry. And the entire time I rubbed Todd's thumb so vigorously with anxiety that his skin would remain red for hours after. Our kiss was full of a passion I even feel yet today. Immediately following came the reception. And it was then that I knew I had married a man with a charming wit, an unconditional love for me, and a dear connection to the outdoors. The first song we played that night..."Fred Bear" by Ted Nugent.

Months prior to the wedding, our plans started on the Honeymoon. We had no plans on waiting for years later. We wanted to go off right away! While I named off exotic islands and romantic adventures, Todd responded with Alaska. I hesitated at first, but realizing I loved the outdoors just as much (and once I heard it can actually hit 100 degrees in July...and it did!) I was in. We planned a 2 week excursion; 1 week land, 1 week cruise. The first group of fellow tourists we met were teachers. We loved our tour guide who gladly told us half the stuff he tells people was made up! Great college kid with a scruffy beard and a super scary bear story! And once on the boat, we paired up with a few other honeymooners as the rest of the cruise was for, what seemed, those entering the last stage of life! On one of our final stops, we were determined to get a permanent memory of the trip. We ended up in Juneau searching for Tattoo places. By days end, and a very interesting tour of a Naval Harbor Tattoo business ("we're almost done sterilizing") place, we decided to postpone the pain.

On our 1 year anniversary, we had an appointment at the Alter Ego shop in Kewaskum. I recalled back to the day on our honeymoon we had gone kayaking. It was crazy! As we paddled, we would bang into salmon left and right. The creek was filled to the brim with them. Eagles were stacked overhead and on shore to get their share of the goods. While cruising through the water, there stand a lone rock. As I got closer...really close!...I realized that a harbor seal had been bathing itself and perched her head up to sneak a peek at me. It was at that moment that time stood still. Completely connected with this animal. I reached into my pocket to snap a shot with my camera. No more film! The feeling in my body went from an absolute state of calm to frustration but quickly back to calm. That honeymoon was amazing, whether we have a picture or not, we will always have that time together and with God's earth and all of the creatures He has provided. I wanted my tattoo to reflect that so on went the picture of that harbor seal...Todd, I suppose, in a sense, was reflecting on that as well. OK, maybe not but the outline of Wisconsin with a deer and pheasant at least connected us with home again.

So now 15 years later, I am about to turn 40. 24% (according to most online research I have done) of people have tattoos. I am one of those that have never regretted it. It tells a very important story about my connectedness. I would like to continue that story so have been toying with the idea of "adding on" . I plan on heading back to Alter Ego. I have carefully and creatively decided on a few things to be carved into my back (about as pleasant and painful as it sounds):
1. My three boys- Todd, Jordan, and Andrew. I trust that in some way shape or form, they will be with me forever. I have known Todd since I was 12. He is not just a part of me...and I know Tom Cruise may have made this cliche...but he does complete me. Jordan was conceived soon after I had returned from a mission trip to Mexico. I totally believe he was put there by God (with a lot of help from Todd) but we had no plans on having kids. Once Jordan was born, I discovered my life, our lives, were filled with possibilities and it hasn't stopped since. And then Andrew...to see myself, my features, my mannerisms...and yet, a different person. Andrew is full of much of my energy yet I am so excited to see his individuality and shape form as he experiences life through his eyes. I am going to add 3 flowers- one for each of them with the colors of their birthstones. I am going to have to get creative to figure out how she will do diamond and pearl!

2.The Chinese symbol for "believe". Funny. When I looked up the most common types of tattoos people got, I found a website from Texas about the 10 most common tattoos people get removed- names, roses, stars, barbed wire, tribal stuff, dragons, butterflies, and...yep...chinese symbols. Oh well. The reason for this symbol is multi fold. Going to China a few years back to help my sister pick up her second adopted child may have been one of the most humbling things I have ever done. My sister's heart, Eli's bravery, and a worldly connection is something you feel and don't need to put words to. It has left me speechless in awe. I love the word "be"...be as you are, be still and know I am God, be the change you wish to see in the world. And then to have "believe"...something I can forget or be challenged by. To believe in myself, believe in God, believe in others. All I need to do is be and believe. I will love to be reminded of what that experience has done for me. Thank you Shelly and Eli (and Madeline and all of the Waalas!)

3. A red dancing cardinal. I have found so much joy in giving. These past years with the Hunt Fundraiser and last year's "Our Stars of Washington County" where Bill Krumenhauer and I took first place in a dance competition to help raise funding for the YMCA and Casa Guadelupe have been rewarding to say the least. I thought a red cardinal dancing would be the perfect symbol to represent this giving. Red is the strong chakra color representing being grounded. It will be a good reminder to me about redirecting my energies to the root level so that I a not flying off forgetting who i really am and where I need to be. And birds...I have thought of them as reminders of the strong women I have in my life. Whenever I see a deer, I am reminded of God, a bird reminds me of women.

Of course, my addition comes in 3. I have a need for threes...3 candles, 3 pictures, 3 trees. 2 is never complete. Three to me stands for solid, real, substational, entire, and complete. Three has biblical meaning just like 7, 12, and 40. The obvious- the Father, Son, and Holy Ghost. On the third day, the earth arose from the water. On the third day, he rose again. I know there is much more. I like that as I hit 40 (I'm in my 40 days to 40 countdown), I am still being reminded and drawn to those things that are keeping me full of life. At 50, I am sure that needle injecting of a different kind (face, boobs, tummy) may become more important or maybe I'll keep building to the story.