A Red Tent "Product" Party Chakra Building Experience

Age 12. Remember those days? It all seems a blur. I enjoyed school. I loved basketball, volleyball, and swimming. I didn’t have a boyfriend. I loved Duran Duran and Boy George. My hair was spiked and jeans were torn. My best friend was Elaine. And I hadn’t got my period. I don’t think that happened until I was 14. I do remember being quiet about the whole “period”, “puberty”, “womanly” thing. I don;t remember being taught to be proud of this amazing gift. I simply had the “talk” with my mom and the school talk was more about the body and functionality of it- I went to a Catholic school. It’s only purpose- babies. Those talks lasted maybe 1 hour tops. That was the extent of it.

Today, it’s different. Maddie, my beautiful 12 year old niece, has many experiences already in life quite different than mine. She is inundated with information- it’s the age of information technology. Her school talk was on “products” and unfortunately not very well received despite the glorious “products” that can be now found for such youngsters. Luckily, she has a great mom who tells it like it is and is very open with Maddie about the female body. So beyond the TV and magazines, Maddie’s getting the real stuff from the support of family.

Based on my 41 years of experience with life, I wanted to celebrate rather than ignore. I often dreamed the “red tent” experience back in the BC days were true. When the mooncycle demanded that the women put down their dish towels and spatulas to sit in the tent on hay for 1 week straight with the other women of the family. This simultaneous “flow” of energy all encapsulated in one room...for a week. Now let us remember ladies, during the time of bleeding, our hormones return to baseline- we generally have feelings of joy and cleansing, not like the week before when we were ready to pull the knife on our sister for wearing my shirt! (Oops, a low-progesterone moment slip). There would have been love, laughter, and union. And best of all, the food consisting of breads, oils, olives, wine, and garden vegetables would be brought to us gently placed outside the door for indulgence by our 6-packed ab men in white hip-hugger wraps with sandals (high testosterone moment!) . Now all you would have to do is top that off with the countryside of Italy and I am there!

For Maddie, it was not Italy but the GrassHopper Restaurant in downtown West Bend. They have a great private back room. Jodie, our wonderful hostess (with 10 other siblings of her own) greeted us and shared in on some stories. We had a room filled with Maddie’s family- her grandmother, mother, aunts, pregnant sister-in-law (we will never tell Sully he went to a “red tent” party!) and cousins. We met over breakfast all fresh for the day. We tattooed ourselves with butterflies as we all reflected on our own metamorphosis. We shared stories, played a few games, and unwrapped many “products”. There were “who-ha’s”, “va-j-j’s” and “aunt flow” stories. There were words of wisdom such as “dance”, “believe”, and “inspire”. There was laughter and love in the realization that there is this cycle of life we all experience- let’s not silence it but rather have our voices be heard. And with that, Jodie brought in blue beaded necklaces- and we didn’t even need to “show her” anything to get them! The intuition of that moment- blue, the throat charka, a calling for voices be heard at an age where this chakra continues to evolve. It’s awesome knowing these female brains, that cycle each month, have adjustments in functioning by up to 25% throughout the month! It seemed we caught everyone on their “good” days!

If we are to be successful with our search for knowledge, this requires well structured information by well-informed agents...and why not add in some fun! This gathering brought that- knowledge to Maddie that she is surrounded by strong women who love her and wish for her to enjoy the beauty that is. Every woman in that restaurant wanted to be in that back room that day! Le donne sono belle! Grazie buona famiglia!

Food and Fun

When I went to school, I brought a lunch daily except for one Wednesday a month. A fruit, vegetable, and jelly sandwich was packed. Each day I excepted the offerance of white 2% milk during the lunch break. We sat around our desks eating enjoyably, telling jokes, and sometimes laughing so hard that my friend Nicki would have milk squirting from her nose! One Wednesday of the month was our special day...Hot Dog Day. One or 2 parents would volunteer to come in to make the hot dogs. We had sign up for treats as well.

Now schools serve a hot lunch. This lunch is meant to successfully serve all students. Affordability is key. The more popular it became, the more school kids needed to be fed, the less money the schools had to spend on quality food. Now it is a rarity to have some type of "fresh food" on the tray. Chicken nuggets, pizza, and hamburgers are the main course. Fries are a vegetable. And if you get a fruit, it must have come from a can.

Once my children went to school they no longer liked the food at home. They would be asking for chips, cereal, or sausage for snacks. They would try to bypass the fruit bowl. They became particular about which veggie they liked. If not asked about, they would have taken chocolate or strawberry milk up to twice daily!

I certainly have not yet developed the complete raw foodist approach to dietary intake but I am passionate about conscious healthy eating. I'm a huge believer in the Ellen Satter recommendations of parent versus child responsibility- Parents are responsible for 1. what foods are offered, 2. when the food is offered, and 3. where the food is offered. The child is responsible for 1. what they eat that is offered and 2. how much they eat that is offered. Simple. I realized I had thought that the school was going to be the "parent". My fault!

In our country, obesity has tripled and diabetic rates quadrupled since the 80s. Food consumption needs to change. It's like the cigarette of the 60s. We started to get it in the 80s but too late now, Lung Cancer is the #1 cancer killer. Luckily our cigarette consumption rates have plummeted but we needed government to take major steps for that to happen. People complain about the government being involved too much yet McDonald's has a drive through line 10 cars deep each am for that "must have mocha whatever it is" and packed in the restaurant each evening for the super size whatever you can meal. 20% of cancers are obesity related...now...what about in 10 years when our obesity rates are 40% or 80% rather than 20% (overweight rate is currently at 65% in Washington County).

A movement has started in our small town of Kewaskum. A group of parents, health care professionals, and educators have been assembling over the last 6 months. We now call ourselves "B.U.F.F" which stands for Better U Food Force. Our 2 main goals are 1. To provide education regarding food to our school aged children and 2. To improve the food consumption of food at home and at school for our school aged children. One of our current projects has been cultivating information on school gardening. We are excited how easy this may be done at one of our local schools. Success is seen when kids participate from start to finish. Eating, selling, and creating the foods from their own garden would be a thrilling curriculum for them to learn.

A strong presence at my children's school is the PTO. Under the expert guidance of Lisa Sullivan, many Friday evenings are "free family fun nights". This Friday we had a "Food and Fun" night. The turnout was a tremendous success. When each family walked through the school door, they were handed a "passport" to help them navigate from place to place. Vibrant Life/Vibrant Child (www.naturesgardenspot.com) was there with the "Tasting Safari". Small samples of foods like jicama, raw pumpkin seeds, and pineapple were sampled for all to enjoy. I volunteered to make hummus with the kids while Matt made delicious banana/peanut butter smoothies to try! Sarah helped each of the kids "pledge" to never start smoking and took their picture to prove it to them later! Mr. Meinen, the school physical education teacher, stayed after a long days work to help out with an obstacle course. We had the local community garden growers there. Bonnie proudly mentioned that a family signed up to plant a plot this spring. Patti and Christine, our caring YMCA reps, helped with nutrition education puzzles and literature for the parents. Ali and Barb, local chicken farmers, brought in some of their beautiful eggs to show the kids they come in all different shapes and sizes. We had the Wii there so many could try our Dance Party 2 action. To top off the evening another YMCA rep, Lori, led a group of kids and adults (good for you parents!) to a Zumba class. Lisa did an amazing job with door prizes and giveaways!

This was a nice event. The parents saw that their kids do eat good healthy foods when given the chance. There was exercise, even sweating...and a little bit of butt wiggling. It was a creative way to give back while having fun with food and dance.

After an interesting week for educators in Wisconsin, it sure was nice to end with such a meaningful school event. I so appreciate the hard work the community does to help raise our children. Ms. Molebash, Principal of 2 elementary schools in our area, puts in a lot of time beyond the school hours for these kids. She is wonderful and has a desire to help our children be well. Thank you.

Namaste Good People...Namaste.
Paula

The F word...forty.

Years ago, Todd and I decided that just having one day to celebrate birth was not enough! What if your birthday fell on a work day? Or worse, what if you woke up like Molly Ringwald did in 16 Candles, on her birthday, which was also her sister's wedding, only to be completely forgotten?!?! So we decided to create the original "birthday week". I or he (and now our children) get to choose, for the entire week, what he/she wishes to do, how to celebrate, when to get foot rubs, to not do the dishes. Todd has a few "unique" requests during his week. I wish to go fully noticed. I want everyone to know it is my birthday. I want celebrations. Basically, as much attention as I can get. It seems like every year, it gets better and better. I am in the midst of my birthday week now, enjoying some solitude and period of reflection. I just came home from an amazing day where my picture was plastered all over the clinic, a nice lunch was presented, and more gifts and great cards flooded my desk. Followed by my boys giving me dinner, folding the clothes, and then heading off to practice giving me some piece. AND THIS ISN'T EVEN MY BIRTHDAY! I'm telling ya, you gotta try it!

In preparation to turning 40, I took the last 40 days to really prepare. 40 is such a special number in biblical times. There are so many references noting the number 40. The most common to refer to is Jesus' preparation for 40 days. I certainly cannot fast. I can hardly meditate for 40 seconds, let alone 40 days so more power to Him! But I made attempts to be more aware of what each day was like. It started the early morning after our Shoe Hunt Party. I went out for the after party across the street to meet up with friends. What a great way to start...friends and karaoke! I kept a record of most of the days after that and will highlight a few common themes.

Family. On the very first day, the boys and I ended up going to Kelly's in Eden. This is a family owned ice cream shop. They make their own ice cream right there from their 60+ cows they own. The ice cream is amazing! Todd and I were surprised that one of the flavors, some bourbon blend, didn't have a "we I.D." stamp on it but that is not why we liked it. Each flavor we sampled was delightful and ending up taking some home for later too! One of the nightly traditions in our home is settling down with a bowl of ice cream (I just watch!). What was neat about this, besides what was already stated, was the fact that this family has owned this land and farm for generations. They had a family tree on the wall with a full explanation of the structure. It inspired me to gather items to start working on my family tree. I barely know my biological father but was lucky to have stayed connected to his parents, my grandparents, until their death. All of my grandparents are gone. I want to know more about them. I want my kids to know more about them. And I want to give that to them in some creative way, maybe travel...maybe a booklet. I just know it's important. God places us with family with great care and purpose.

Friends. It was the holiday season packed with gatherings! I met up with dear old friends at the Oppermann home. I went to a Packer game with work ladies who are dear friends. I played volleyball with one of my best friends. I celebrated the New Year with, yes, friends! And Todd surpirsed me this past Saturday with a room full of friends at the Riverside Brewery in West Bend. I was overwhelmed by the cast of people that took the time to share a special transition with me. I couldn't live without them, each and every one. I am so lucky to have lifelong friends. Even new ones met this past year seem like I've known them forever. I have one...who I hope dearly to know more...who said to me, almost in passing, how she has created a "cabinet" of friends just like our government has their cabinet. Brilliant!!! I have no idea how she came up with that, should have asked, sounds like an Oprah thing, but I immediately went to "who's in my cabinet" thinking!!! I've decided! It was a really fun thing to do one day. I have the Justice Department (Kathy), Dept. of Health and Human Services (Heidi), Administration on Aging (Pat), Dept of interior (Laura), Dept of Energy (Michelle), Dept of Education really beyond the obvious (DeAnn) and so many others!!!! I have them all together and someday will call a board meeting, maybe a weekend at the spa, to review their duties. It really has simplified who I need to call on when I have an issue or just wish to chat about something. Love it!

Rest. I loved the day the snowstorm stopped everything. It was a Sunday. Couldn't even go to church. That was funny too because it was Advent, the time of reflection before the birth of Christ. The word that week we were to reflect on was "Rest". You can't tell me God doesn't exist. Why do we need a service to talk about how we should rest? God did the best example to show us how. I did too. I had not had a PJ day in forever. We made a fire. We played board games. We took a nap!!! It was much needed because I had that same intention the Wednesday before and didn't succeed!I even wrote on that day "life could pass me by". I really feel selfish when I hear the phrase "take time for yourself", "you deserve it". How can one think that when the world is what it is? So much good to do but I know rest is key.

Play. This actually was one of the Advent words too. When I look at my last 40days, I was happy to have taken the time to play. This year my sisters and I decided , rather than exchanging gifts as that gets rather complicated, we each bought a board game, wrapped it, and exchanged among the 3 families. After the pickle ornament was found (German tradition) by Harrison, he chose the first game to unwrap. The night was spent playing the games and really enjoying each other's company. Though we dearly miss our own Santa Claus (my Dad Russ) who piled his downstairs with a massive amount of gifts for each grandchild, they seemed to enjoy this new Christmas celebration. What is so fun about playing the type of board games that are out now is how much you learn about the people you play with. I really enjoyed that playtime. Luckily, my family is keen to the idea that I love to dance too. I got both Michael Jackson and Dance Part 2 for Wii so I also had a ton of time after Christmas to dance, dance, dance whether it be by myself or challenged by others around me, I had fun!

Love. I wanted each action to be lead by love. I read the book The Handmaid and The Carpenter by Berg. It was such a unique story about a vision of what Mary and Joseph may have gone through back in the day. Their lust, love, passion for each other. The trust issue. Who knows how things really happened back then but I like to dream in that way, even if some seemed so untrue. It was a nice book to read during this time. I reviewed some of the words I have written down on my "count down to 40 page". They included determination, dedication, ethic, self discovery, inner knowledge, realization, naturalization...words that describe what I want or know about others and, at times, myself. One of my days, I simply have the word "cereal". I have lived on cereal much of my life (I'm 40 so only the last few years I've become a more conscious eater). But as I say that, I have tried so hard to get rid of the nasty habit of coming home late on a Tuesday night after work and scarfing down a bowl of cereal. Really. But I love it. And it's gotta be like really bad...fruity pebbles, captain crunch, sugar snaps. But I love it. It's my life. It's where I came from...and I was trying to get rid of it. I love it. I think I will go into my 40s not changing it... for love.

So here I am...40 and 1 day. I received "Avalon" cards from my "Secret Service" department head Cat. The first one I picked from the deck was "Mystery". Hmmmm. Once again, being told not to plan but just enjoy. But told to me in a creative way. I'll take these lessons I have learned in my last 40 days into my 40s. I am glad I was at a soewhat higher consciousness level during what could have been an unrecognizable transition. My legacy of the desire to give creatively remains unchanged. One of my last items of achievement at age 39 was being voted onto the Kewaskum Chamber of Commerce board. I look forward to the possibilities that brings. And I booked my flight to Italy...thank you Todd, my most trusted and gracious husband! Can't wait to see you Heidi, my friend. Here's to rest, play, and love with family and friends into my 40s and beyond.

Be well,
Paula

Intention

Taking the Christmas decorations down this year seemed like a divine renewal of spirit. Not only was this a great time for reflecting on a very busy yet joyful holiday season, it was also a time to imagine what may come in the next year. What will have happened when I'm back putting these decorations all back out again? So many of these tree ornaments tell stories of years past. My mom's Micky and Minnie wooden round ornament with imprinted "1994 Todd and Paula" was given to us months before Todd asked me to marry him. There's one of a fuzzy mama bear proudly displaying her pregnant belly with a red shirt reading "baby" on it. I would have resembled this bear the day I found it taped to my work door at Aurora placed by an unknown caregiver. Jordan was born 50 days later. This year's favorite was designed by Andrew. It was a painted family portrait of all 4 of us, each with his reflection of our likes on masterfully colored shirts. He drew himself with an ice cream cone on his, a guitar on Jordan's, a flower on mine, and a Packer jersey (and necktie) on Todd's. So what will happen to this Carlton family in 2011?

Years ago, after setting many New Year's resolutions that failed within weeks, even moments, of setting them, I resolved to evolve. Rather than re-solving, I decided to create a title for the year by choosing a word and seeing what happened. I had done this for the past 2 years, and to be honest, just like my resolutions, the words became words until the end of the year when I reflected. In 2009, Freedom from Judgement ending up being a year full of judging and being judged through the dying and grieving process of my father's passing. So in 2010, I wanted balance. As I read further about "Balance", I felt a little selfish as it implied a need for "me" time. Well, needless to say, I was not at all...oh my! I was going to say not at all balanced but get this! From April til October, I am sure I experienced dysthymia (OK, maybe depression). Right. 6 months sad. 6 months happy. It was during these 6 months, I did a tremendous amount of internal work trying to figure out what I was feeling. I do not recommend doing this on your own. I clearly recall my Parish Nurse telling me, years before, "talk to someone during your grieving time". For me, the excuse "I'm too busy" was all too convenient. I am happy...yeah! happy to say, I have a husband who is terribly observant and through our conversations, I was no longer feeling guilty and insecure. Our connection to each other, our communication with each other helped me to expose my vulnerable self AND, most valuable, recognize my worthiness to pull through.

Through this all, I have learned great things. Dr. Candace Pert, scientist and founder of our molecules of emotion including the great serotonin,believes we are naturally wired for happiness. I do too BUT I also believe Eve Ensler, author of the Vagina Monologues, who calls on women to be the emotional creatures we are meant to be. As Deacon Becky Schmidt of Still Waters Church so beautifully recited today in our Healing Service Psalm 147:3 He heals the brokenhearted and binds up their wounds (NIV). We all should be allowed to shed our tears without feeling the need to cover them up in what is perceived as "inconvenience".

With this being the starting point of 2011 and in hopes of continuing the joy of creatively giving, I just wanted to have some fun!!!! I want to set an intention not just find a word. My intention could be the creative power that fulfills that need for fun. And not only to fill a need but have it come from a matter of contentment. With choosing an intention, I can open my world to pure potentiality, perhaps once again being "pregnant with possibilities" as I once had been called by Dr. Karen Wolf, author of Create the Body Your Soul Desires. I have no intentions of being pregnant in the literal sense, but this intention can metaphorically be positioned in the abundantly fertile world that I place each step on everyday. And though so badly I wish to be the voice in charge of every moment, in writing this, my husband has reminded me he will keep me in check. And I am pretty sure that was a clear message sent by God! They can be the counter to my vigilant self who says "the only way to get things done is to do them yourself". I will work on that.

So my intention is "celebration"...easy with my 40th, my husband's and many friends 40th, travel already planned, parties already on the calendar BUT...in my reading about setting intentions states very clearly in the words of Deepak Chopra "living in the wisdom of uncertainty". I vow to open my eyes to God for He celebrates even the small stuff. With this, empathy and enjoyment can take place. And with this, I will just have a powerful word to keep with me, remind me, redirect me throughout each moment. Already I have many things to celebrate on day 2 of 2011. Here come my giggling children.

What is your intention for 2011?
Are you willing to live in the wisdom of uncertainty even when setting an intention?

Thank you for your gift of time!
Paula

Tattoo'd

When I was 25 years old, I married Todd. It was a beautiful July wedding that took place down at the Grain Exchange in Milwaukee, a great historical building which was a nice reflection of some of our farming families. The building was ornate with enormous two-story ceilings with wood, marble, and glass throughout. I walked down the staircase to meet my parents who lead me toward my husband. I recall the room was so large our voices did not carry far so, though surrounded by loved ones, I wonder if any others heard our words. We had a guitarist named Karen Howell who strummed intimate music. My Uncle Paul and friend Michelle recited some poetry. And the entire time I rubbed Todd's thumb so vigorously with anxiety that his skin would remain red for hours after. Our kiss was full of a passion I even feel yet today. Immediately following came the reception. And it was then that I knew I had married a man with a charming wit, an unconditional love for me, and a dear connection to the outdoors. The first song we played that night..."Fred Bear" by Ted Nugent.

Months prior to the wedding, our plans started on the Honeymoon. We had no plans on waiting for years later. We wanted to go off right away! While I named off exotic islands and romantic adventures, Todd responded with Alaska. I hesitated at first, but realizing I loved the outdoors just as much (and once I heard it can actually hit 100 degrees in July...and it did!) I was in. We planned a 2 week excursion; 1 week land, 1 week cruise. The first group of fellow tourists we met were teachers. We loved our tour guide who gladly told us half the stuff he tells people was made up! Great college kid with a scruffy beard and a super scary bear story! And once on the boat, we paired up with a few other honeymooners as the rest of the cruise was for, what seemed, those entering the last stage of life! On one of our final stops, we were determined to get a permanent memory of the trip. We ended up in Juneau searching for Tattoo places. By days end, and a very interesting tour of a Naval Harbor Tattoo business ("we're almost done sterilizing") place, we decided to postpone the pain.

On our 1 year anniversary, we had an appointment at the Alter Ego shop in Kewaskum. I recalled back to the day on our honeymoon we had gone kayaking. It was crazy! As we paddled, we would bang into salmon left and right. The creek was filled to the brim with them. Eagles were stacked overhead and on shore to get their share of the goods. While cruising through the water, there stand a lone rock. As I got closer...really close!...I realized that a harbor seal had been bathing itself and perched her head up to sneak a peek at me. It was at that moment that time stood still. Completely connected with this animal. I reached into my pocket to snap a shot with my camera. No more film! The feeling in my body went from an absolute state of calm to frustration but quickly back to calm. That honeymoon was amazing, whether we have a picture or not, we will always have that time together and with God's earth and all of the creatures He has provided. I wanted my tattoo to reflect that so on went the picture of that harbor seal...Todd, I suppose, in a sense, was reflecting on that as well. OK, maybe not but the outline of Wisconsin with a deer and pheasant at least connected us with home again.

So now 15 years later, I am about to turn 40. 24% (according to most online research I have done) of people have tattoos. I am one of those that have never regretted it. It tells a very important story about my connectedness. I would like to continue that story so have been toying with the idea of "adding on" . I plan on heading back to Alter Ego. I have carefully and creatively decided on a few things to be carved into my back (about as pleasant and painful as it sounds):
1. My three boys- Todd, Jordan, and Andrew. I trust that in some way shape or form, they will be with me forever. I have known Todd since I was 12. He is not just a part of me...and I know Tom Cruise may have made this cliche...but he does complete me. Jordan was conceived soon after I had returned from a mission trip to Mexico. I totally believe he was put there by God (with a lot of help from Todd) but we had no plans on having kids. Once Jordan was born, I discovered my life, our lives, were filled with possibilities and it hasn't stopped since. And then Andrew...to see myself, my features, my mannerisms...and yet, a different person. Andrew is full of much of my energy yet I am so excited to see his individuality and shape form as he experiences life through his eyes. I am going to add 3 flowers- one for each of them with the colors of their birthstones. I am going to have to get creative to figure out how she will do diamond and pearl!

2.The Chinese symbol for "believe". Funny. When I looked up the most common types of tattoos people got, I found a website from Texas about the 10 most common tattoos people get removed- names, roses, stars, barbed wire, tribal stuff, dragons, butterflies, and...yep...chinese symbols. Oh well. The reason for this symbol is multi fold. Going to China a few years back to help my sister pick up her second adopted child may have been one of the most humbling things I have ever done. My sister's heart, Eli's bravery, and a worldly connection is something you feel and don't need to put words to. It has left me speechless in awe. I love the word "be"...be as you are, be still and know I am God, be the change you wish to see in the world. And then to have "believe"...something I can forget or be challenged by. To believe in myself, believe in God, believe in others. All I need to do is be and believe. I will love to be reminded of what that experience has done for me. Thank you Shelly and Eli (and Madeline and all of the Waalas!)

3. A red dancing cardinal. I have found so much joy in giving. These past years with the Hunt Fundraiser and last year's "Our Stars of Washington County" where Bill Krumenhauer and I took first place in a dance competition to help raise funding for the YMCA and Casa Guadelupe have been rewarding to say the least. I thought a red cardinal dancing would be the perfect symbol to represent this giving. Red is the strong chakra color representing being grounded. It will be a good reminder to me about redirecting my energies to the root level so that I a not flying off forgetting who i really am and where I need to be. And birds...I have thought of them as reminders of the strong women I have in my life. Whenever I see a deer, I am reminded of God, a bird reminds me of women.

Of course, my addition comes in 3. I have a need for threes...3 candles, 3 pictures, 3 trees. 2 is never complete. Three to me stands for solid, real, substational, entire, and complete. Three has biblical meaning just like 7, 12, and 40. The obvious- the Father, Son, and Holy Ghost. On the third day, the earth arose from the water. On the third day, he rose again. I know there is much more. I like that as I hit 40 (I'm in my 40 days to 40 countdown), I am still being reminded and drawn to those things that are keeping me full of life. At 50, I am sure that needle injecting of a different kind (face, boobs, tummy) may become more important or maybe I'll keep building to the story.

S.H.A.P.E.

I am currently in the midst of the wonderful season of hunting...my husband deer hunts. I shoe and accessory hunt. Let me explain. One of the ways I have dealt with my creative energy is to work with a group of women during the hunting season. We shop (hunt) for a pair of shoes and/or accessories (comparable to his deer kill). The great thing about it is it all wraps up with a big fundraiser night to benefit Chix 4 A Cause.

There are moments during this time that I feel guilty about the ego-ness of worrying about an outfit only to be quickly reminded of the beauty of the inner work this pulls me into. I have come across the following in my readings that are sent to me by email each day from the Purpose Driven Life. These daily scripture readings and reflections often allow me to set an intention for the day. I so often enjoy the intuitive timing many of the daily pieces bring.

Defining our S.H.A.P.E. by Erik Rees, a tool used by the Purpose Driven Life

S Spiritual gifts- a set of special abilities that God has given to you to share His love and serve others

H Heart- the special passions that God has given to you so that you can glorify Him on earth

A Abilities- the set of talents that God gave you when you were born, which he also wants you to use to make an impact for Him

P Personality- the special way God wired you to navigate through life and fulfill your unique Kingdom purpose

E Experiences- those parts of your past, both positive and painful, which God intends to use in great ways

What a great way to clarify your own life...and what I really should say is I feel it is a good way for me to clarify me because I should not assume how you respond. That's really the beauty of each one of us, and I know we all know this, but we all are, perceive, believe in different things in different ways with different things. It's way beyond our shape on the outside. It's why I can say I have the gift to teach with a passion for health and creativity with the ability to listen without judgement and the personality to never give up taken from a lifetime of experiences both good and bad that makes me want to do the best I can with what I have been given and help others do the same. Hmmm. There it is- my SHAPE.

And it is interesting how shape changes as we evolve. I think about the shape that my parents might see me as...my dear and loving high school friends...my husband...my adult friends...my patients- all perceive me with a different shape- or maybe it is that I hold a different shape around them? An interesting thought to ponder.

It reminds me of a few years ago when I walked into a conference at the Stevens Point Wellness Center. As we went around the room to introduce ourselves, one of the ladies just amazed me! She owned this wellness center on the east coast, had several male children, married, beautiful and gosh! She looked tall (even though she was seated in a chair). During our interactions, I got to know her as well as I could through various exercises and gatherings. On the last day off that week long session, the whole group of women seemed to have bonded like a family in such a small time. We had to say our goodbyes. I went to hug this woman who I had perceived as tall only to find out she was shorter than I. Several of the women commented as I did on how we all thought she was this very tall person...how surprised we were to find out her "true shape" had changed!

1 Samuel 16:7 ...For the Lord sees not as man sees: man looks on the outward appearance, but the Lord looks on the heart.

Amen.
Paula

Inhale, exhale

A few years ago, a friend gifted me with Goddess Guidance oracle cards created by Doreen Virtue, PhD. Since then, it has been a fun way to help with setting intentions for the day, getting ideas about the "why" of things happening around me, and just plain ol' bringing out the hidden goddess inside. Today I chose Maeve, the Goddess of Cycles and Rhythms. How perfect! My last blog entry indicated I was midcycle and here she is!

One thing that can get me frustrated is the complex fact that our female brain changes up to 25% each 28 days (on average). I love when the estrogen and progesterone surges at the beginning normally lasting for a good 2 weeks. My mind feels clear, peaceful, serene...My connections with others is equally joyous. I love my husband again ! Yeah, my hippocampus, hypothalmus, and amygdala are squeaky clean ready to think critically and have accurate and appropriate emotional responses! Yeah me!

What Goddess Maeve tells me today is to "honor the cycles of your body, energy levels, and emotions". She goes on to say that the universe is naturally cyclical. Just like breathing, we inhale then exhale (I wonder which part of the cycle is inhale???). Celebrate and embrace these as the essence of life.

In a few months I turn 40. The average lifespan of women nowadays in the States is about 8oish. So midlife, giver or take a few decades (I plan to be a centenarian). 40 is a big biblical number of course too. As I reflected on that, I have decided to plan out carefully the last 40 days of my life as a 39 y.o. As I count back, the day to start falls on December 3rd which happens to be the night of our creatively give Shoe and Accessory Hunt night (www.dnrshoes.blogspot.com). I am going to spend sometime addressing the need I wish to address. Most off, I want this to be fun and prepare me for the next 40 years of giving creatively. I know I will seek the Goddess of Maeve a lot through my 40s! Honoring my cycle rather than bitching about it would be a huge accomplishment. I am pretty sure those around me would appreciate that as well. Ok, let me be a little kinder to myself-I am not that bad but could be better.

To help me prepare for my 40 days to 40, I have been researching a bit about what it takes to motivate. David B. Rosengren's book on Motivational interviewing has been helpful for me with my patients. I clearly recognize that change in behavior has very little to do with what I say as a healthcare provider as motivation tends to come from within. That being said, I know there are a few questions that can help guide the process: 1. What need would you like to work on? 2. Why? 3. What makes you care about this/your inspiration? 4. When would you like to start? 5. How often will you reassess? 6. Who will support you? 7. Where are you right now (baseline)? 8. How will you be held accountable? Now when coaching someone on making a change ,these are not necessarily the questions you want to be asking them but they are good reflective questions for themselves.

These last few days, thanks to my cycle, I have been coming up with some clear messages of how I wish to proceed with my creative giving legacy. I have some ideas about how this next decade of life could include that. I look forward to continue sharing this with others!

Thanks Maeve!